Hallmarks of Disintegration

To feel whole is to feel fully human, able to engage all your capacities and experience a broad range of emotions without over-identifying with any single part of yourself - say, your anger, your need for certainty, or your role as an 'important' person. Here are some signs that you may be less integrated, less whole, than you would like:

	You feel like a stranger to yourself. (I'm 47 years old and I don't feel like I really know myself.)
	You feel that your life is living you, rather than vice versa - the tail is wagging the dog. (I end the day wondering how I got here, rather than feeling like I made the kind of day that felt right for me.)
	You do not feel particularly aware, moment-to-moment, of your body. (Other people seem to feel it coming when they get sick, I'm always taken by surprise.)
	You feel out of control of your life, even if - in fact, especially if - you are a controlled and/or controlling person. (More than anything, I feel as if I'm trying to keep chaos at bay.)
	You rarely, if ever, take time to reflect on the big questions - who you are, how you get here, what you want from life, how satisfied you are with your relationships. (It would be nice, but I just don't have the time for that.)
	You aren't clear, on a daily basis, that you even have an inner life. (My experience is that I am what I do. Period.)
	You exhibit some kind of compulsive behavior.