Is self esteem really that important? My
personal view is "yes and no". Self-esteem is said to be comprised
of success and social approval. Yet I believe that those who are
"inner-directed", that is those who look within for approval, tend
to have higher self-esteem than those who look outside for it.
Furthermore, self reports about popularity from people with
high self esteem do not correlate at all when classmates are asked
to nominate their most-liked and least-liked peers. High self
esteem mainly seems to make it easier to initiate new social
contacts and friendships - and improves persistence in the face of
failure.
People with low self esteem are not
merely down on themselves, they are negative about everything.
Since studies have shown that positive people are healthier, live
longer, happier and more successful, most of us may feel that it
would be beneficial to work on becoming more positive (click
here for more on this). There is a strong correlation between
high self-esteem and happiness but no objective evidence about
which causes which.
There is also a striking connection between LOW self-esteem and
depression. A University of Michigan study found that people who
feel, or are made to feel, insecure or unworthy will often
re-establish their self-worth by putting others down. The
University also found there is a connection between high
self-esteem and wellbeing. The best predictor of general life
satisfaction is not satisfaction with family life, friendships or
income but satisfaction with self. People who like and accept
themselves feel good about life in general. Again, however, there
is no evidence about which causes which. Does good self-esteem
prevent depression and increase life satisfaction? Or (as I
believe from extensive observation as well as my own life
experience) does good health create good self-esteem and life
satisfaction?
Self-esteem, your true worth or value, is not measured by your
financial statement, job title, or trophies on a shelf. You are
precious because you are a creation of the highest order of
intelligence. If you forget the true source of your preciousness,
eventually you will experience an emptiness, a gnawing hunger.
There are not enough gold, jewels, cellular phones, sport-utility
vehicles, big-screen TVs, or anything material to nourish the
soul. The spirit can only be filled by giving, not by getting.
Therefore, I do not agree that self-esteem can be increased by
getting approval from outside yourself. I believe that no amount
of externally bestowed esteem will help if you don’t approve of
yourself. To me it is obvious that self esteem follows happiness
(although a component of happiness includes self esteem - yes, it
is a loop, but only a partial one). There is also a component
relating to mood - we all feel higher self-esteem when we are in
good moods.
