Top Ten Steps for Building an Acceptable Level of Confidence
1. Recognize that no one knows everything. Regardless of how harshly someone may criticize your errors, rest assured
they've made plenty themselves. You
can probably remember a few if you try to.
2. Experiment with presenting ideas about which you are less than 100%
confident. See what happens when you express something about which you're only
95% confident. Give yourself a chance to learn that you can be successful
without being 100% certain.
3. Take realistic, strategic, calculated risks. Study your surroundings for
cues about the culture in which you find yourself. Observe how others act and
interact. Assess the potential costs of being incorrect in the particular
situation. Compare these to the costs of inaction. Remember that most firms have
multiple backup systems -- there's almost always someone else reviewing your
work. In most cases, it's more likely that you'll be criticized than that a
client will be hurt.
4. Have faith in your ability to perform. The success you've achieved thus
far is not an accident. You wouldn't be where you are unless you were competent
and knowledgeable.
5. Be willing to tolerate discomfort. Taking a risk means stepping outside
your comfort zone. People who take risks are not fearless; they're people who
have fear under control. If you weren't fearful, you wouldn't be taking a risk.
6. Be willing to learn on the job. Successful people do this all the time.
Seek input from people unlikely to evaluate you. Remember, we always learn more
from failure than from success.
7. Depersonalize your mistakes and the criticism they receive. Mistakes are a
fact of life -- just because you failed at one thing doesn't make you a failure.
When criticized:
* Take appropriate responsibility for your error without denigrating yourself or
absolving others from their own responsibility.
* Try to keep in mind that your critic's anger is more likely a reflection of
his/her current state of mind -- feelings of frustration, pressure, being
overwhelmed -- than any enduring judgment of your competence.
* Try to separate the facts you're hearing from your own feelings about them.
You made a mistake -- that's all.
* Consider all of the temporary and situational reasons you might have made this
error -- don't attribute failures to your basic ability or intelligence.
8. Act with confidence even when you're not completely certain.
DON'T:
* Apologize or ask for permission to speak. * Begin with statements such as "You
probably thought of this before but..." or " I'm sorry to bother you but..."
* Hesitate, repeat yourself, or embroider your statements.
DO:
* Speak in a convincing, unconditional, authoritative manner.
* Be decisive and to the point (even if it has taken you some private time in
advance to be able to do this.
* Make your statements strong and powerful.
* Claim authorship of your ideas by saying, "This is what I've come up with" or
"I did the research and found..."
* Project your voice.
9. Taking risks builds resilience and self-confidence. The more you stretch
yourself and succeed, the more confident you'll feel. Think of risk-taking as a
necessary part of your professional training.
10. Remember what you stand to gain from taking a risk:
* Your work will not just be excellent but may also be recognized.
* You'll have the chance to receive credit for your accomplishments.
* You'll increase your visibility and therefore your chances of getting good
assignments and projects.
* You'll probably feel more confident than you did before.
Remember what you stand to lose from NOT taking a risk:
* You may be right but no one will know it.
* Your work may go unnoticed or you may not receive credit for it.
* No one will know you're there.
* Perhaps worst of all - you may be accused of not having the "necessary
confidence."
Bonus tip: above all, never forget: negative criticism always reflects a
personal, hidden agenda on the part of the critic.
Click here for more tips on handling criticism
